It's about time!

It has been very difficult for me to write lately. God has still been giving me insights, but I just haven't been able to get everything to mesh: my thoughts; God's words; my pen; my focus - it just wasn't working.

There didn't seem to be a real reason, but it just wasn't working. So I decided (with God's prodding) I needed to examine why I was writing - what was my real motive - was I doing it for God's purposes or my own? Or perhaps a little of both. What I discovered is that starting a blog was me testing God's wisdom.

About 7 years ago God laid on my heart that I was suppose to write a book. He even gave me a title: "Free at Last: Confessions of a Control Freak". (It's okay to laugh.) Of course, being the submissive follower of God that I am, I did nothing about it. Why would I? I had no writing ability. Don't believe me? Just ask my legal writing professor from law school who gave me an F on my first paper! How in the world could someone who made an F in writing possibly be a writer?

Turn the clock ahead 7 years... God is still laying on my heart that I am to write a book. So, do I believe Him? Of course not. Instead, I go my own way and check things out to see if He could possibly know what He is doing. First, I share a couple of things I've written with a few friends and test their responses. When those were positive, I did what any trusting, submissive (read: doubting, questioning) child of God would do... I tested His knowledge further by starting a blog and telling my friends what I was doing (except for the part about testing God's knowledge). One of the first responses I received was from a friend that said - you should write a book. Hmmm... I wonder where that came from? But again, I did nothing about writing a book. Instead, I kept praying, "God, show me what you want me to do." I can just see him shaking his head, wanting to scream at me (like I have been known to do at my own child) "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU???? WRITE A BOOK!

God knows what He has in store for us. He knows the things we are capable of, even though we doubt our own capabilities. God doesn't make mistakes and He will not call us to anything we are not capable of through Him. Although my heart knows these things, my head seems to be a bit on the slow side. Perhaps 7 years is long enough and it's time I started listening and submitting , and quit asking the question that God has already answered.

Is there something God is calling you to do? If so, there's no time like now to respond to the call.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." Proverbs 3:5

My Prayer:

Lord, forgive me for doubting and questioning you; for not listening to your answers to my prayers. Thank you for being patient and not giving up on me. Now that I acknowledge what you are calling me to do, guide me in the steps I need to take to follow your calling. Amen.