It's about time!

It has been very difficult for me to write lately. God has still been giving me insights, but I just haven't been able to get everything to mesh: my thoughts; God's words; my pen; my focus - it just wasn't working.

There didn't seem to be a real reason, but it just wasn't working. So I decided (with God's prodding) I needed to examine why I was writing - what was my real motive - was I doing it for God's purposes or my own? Or perhaps a little of both. What I discovered is that starting a blog was me testing God's wisdom.

About 7 years ago God laid on my heart that I was suppose to write a book. He even gave me a title: "Free at Last: Confessions of a Control Freak". (It's okay to laugh.) Of course, being the submissive follower of God that I am, I did nothing about it. Why would I? I had no writing ability. Don't believe me? Just ask my legal writing professor from law school who gave me an F on my first paper! How in the world could someone who made an F in writing possibly be a writer?

Turn the clock ahead 7 years... God is still laying on my heart that I am to write a book. So, do I believe Him? Of course not. Instead, I go my own way and check things out to see if He could possibly know what He is doing. First, I share a couple of things I've written with a few friends and test their responses. When those were positive, I did what any trusting, submissive (read: doubting, questioning) child of God would do... I tested His knowledge further by starting a blog and telling my friends what I was doing (except for the part about testing God's knowledge). One of the first responses I received was from a friend that said - you should write a book. Hmmm... I wonder where that came from? But again, I did nothing about writing a book. Instead, I kept praying, "God, show me what you want me to do." I can just see him shaking his head, wanting to scream at me (like I have been known to do at my own child) "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU???? WRITE A BOOK!

God knows what He has in store for us. He knows the things we are capable of, even though we doubt our own capabilities. God doesn't make mistakes and He will not call us to anything we are not capable of through Him. Although my heart knows these things, my head seems to be a bit on the slow side. Perhaps 7 years is long enough and it's time I started listening and submitting , and quit asking the question that God has already answered.

Is there something God is calling you to do? If so, there's no time like now to respond to the call.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..." Proverbs 3:5

My Prayer:

Lord, forgive me for doubting and questioning you; for not listening to your answers to my prayers. Thank you for being patient and not giving up on me. Now that I acknowledge what you are calling me to do, guide me in the steps I need to take to follow your calling. Amen.

Making A Difference

Saturday I had the honor of celebrating the life of Brady Thomas Meyer. Brady is a triplet. He lived in utero for 30 weeks and on this earth for 14 days. As I prepared to attend his memorial service, it occurred to me that Brady had most likely accomplished more for God's kingdom in 14 days than I have in 47 years.

During his short time on this earth Brady touched and affected the lives of hundreds and hundreds of people throughout the country. During his life, he brought many people closer to God than they had ever been - some who rarely or never pray, began to pray; some who occasionally pray, prayed harder and more often; many who had never fasted, spent 24 hours in prayer and fasting for Brady. And all of those prayers were answered, maybe not in the way we had hoped for, but answered none the less.

His life also allowed us to watch true faith being lived out in the lives of his parents, Andy and Cathy, whose faith has been steadfast in what many of us would perceive as the worst of tragedies.

In celebration and honor of Brady, and his family (parents Andy & Cathy, big brother Eli, and sister and brother, Jordan and Drew), I challenge each of us to examine our own discipleship and ask, "Am I making a difference?". My guess is you probably are. Then ask, "Could I be doing more?"

In 14 short days, Brady Thomas Meyer touched hundreds of lives. How many lives will you touch in the time God gives you?

"Then [Jesus] said to them, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all - he is the greatest." " Luke 9:48

My prayer:

Thank you for the Meyer family and the difference they are making for your kingdom. Lord, I too want to make a difference for your kingdom. Show me what you would have me do and then give me the strength and courage to do it. Amen.

Note: To learn more about the journey of the Meyer's and the lives of Brady, Jordan, Drew and Eli, you may visit their web site at: www.babyhomepages.net/andycathy_meyer.

Isaiah 40:31

If you follow my blog you know that I have a love for dogs. Our dogs constantly remind me of my walk with God, including the fact that I'm sure there are times that God wishes I wore a choke collar! Perhaps then, when I head off in the wrong direction and God tries to redirect me, I would be a bit more responsive.

The link below was shared with me by two dear friends. It is the story of a dog named Isaiah 40:31, and shares a message about what we can learn from a dog about obedience. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKohJ1k4oKA

I guess, if I obeyed as well as this dog, God wouldn't need a choke collar!

"[Jesus] relied, "Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and
obey it."" Luke 11:28

My prayer:
God, teach me to hear your command and to follow it. Remind me that when you tell me no, it is not to be mean, but is often to protect me from thing I cannot see, but that you can see. Help me to trust you in all things and to obey your commands. Amen.

Cheers!

This week has been a bit nostalgic. Earlier this week I read that the bartender at the original "Cheers" bar, the one that the television show was based on, was laid off. Immediately, I recounted the show that brought Dennis and I many laughs. And of course, I began to sing the theme song:

Where Everybody Knows Your Name
by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo
Cheers Lyrics
"Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.
You wanna go where people know, people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows your name..."

I can remember Dennis and I discussing how great it would be to have a place like Cheers to hang out in - where everybody did know your name and they were always glad to see you. We had a place to hang out in our college years that was a bit like Cheers (please, don't tell my mom!). I must admit it was great to walk into the room and know most everyone there. It gave us a sense of belonging. Of course, time passed and we all left college and went our different ways.

This week as I listened to the lyrics, I realized that no matter how many "Cheers" you find in your lifetime, they really never last. Even on the show things changed: Coach died; Diane left; Frasier moved on to his own show and split with Lillith. Woody and Rebecca showed up and Sam was really bald!

However, over the years I've discovered there is another place I can go where someone knows my name and is ALWAYS glad to see me - - in the presence of God. Not only does he know my name; he knows everything about me. Most importantly, he never gets cancelled or moves on to better things. He is the one thing I can always count on.

Making my way in the world today sure does take a lot!
Taking a break from all my worries should would help a lot!
Sometimes I want to go where somebody knows my name!
And He's always glad I came...

Wouldn't it be great if we chose to be there all of the time?

"... He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." John 10:3

My prayer:
Lord God, I thank you that you know me by name and you are always joyful to have me in your presence. Help me to always seek your presence and to accept the comfort, joy and freedom from worries that you have for me there. Amen.


In case I hit your nostalgic button as well, here's a video of the theme song and clips from the show. I hope you enjoy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6HI1pjfHlc&feature=related

Grace or Guilt?

My sweet friend Laura has a wonderful relationship with God. If you read her comment to my last post ("A Lent Perspective"), you might also know that she has a long running love affair with guilt. On Laura's behalf (and on behalf of thousands of us, who are just like her), I decided to do a little exploring about guilt.

According to my NIV Study Bible, the word guilt appears in the Bible 6 times. Conversely, the word grace appears in the Bible 130 times. Hmmm... makes you wonder doesn't it? Do you think God is trying to tell us something?

To explore this idea a little further, I pulled out my trusty bible dictionary (Unger's Concise Bible Dictionary) and looked up the words guilt and grace. Grace is defined as "the manifestation of God's love and mercy toward sinful men" (I'm pretty sure that includes women too!). Here's what Unger's has to say about guilt: "Guilt is liability for sin committed or wrong enacted. Divine grace has triumphed over sin by removing the guilt of all who trust in Jesus Christ's atoning death (Rom. 8:1)". Amazing! Grace is included in the very definition of guilt.

No wonder grace appears 124 more times than guilt; by it's very definition God's grace is greater than any guilt (self-imposed or otherwise) we can ever imagine. One of the most incredible thing about grace is that we cannot earn or buy it. In our church we have an acronym for Grace: God's Riches At Christ's Expense. Grace doesn't come at our expense. Jesus Christ already paid the price. All we have to do is accept it. It seems that to do anything less is to deny Christ's sacrifice for us.

Christ has purchased us the gift of grace. God is holding it out in front of us offering it to us. It's an enormous gift. So, in order to receive it, we have to set aside the guilt package we are carrying and open our hands to receive God's love and mercy.

So what choice will you make? Grace or guilt? It's totally up to you.

I can promise you that grace is definitely the better choice. Of course that's easy for me to say... it only took me 24 years of wallowing in guilt and unforgiveness before I was ready to choose God's grace. I hope for your sake, you're a much quicker learner than I was.

"...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

My prayer:

Jesus, thank you for paying the price for my sin and guilt. Give me the courage and strength to let go of my own self reliance and guilt, and accept the gift of God's mercy and love through His all sufficient grace. Amen.

A Lent Perspective

As we celebrate the season of lent, many have spent countless hours trying to figure out what they will give up this lenten season. As I listened to one such discussion this week, I heard several people express concerns about being afraid of failing at lent: "I could give up candy, but I would be sure to fail." or "I told my children to be careful what they gave up, because they didn't want to set themselves up to fail". For myself, I don't dare attempt to fast from food. I can barely make from breakfast to lunch, much less sun up to sun down.

As I replayed these conversations in my mind, I envisioned God smiling and shaking his head back and forth, saying, "They just don't get it." You see, I don't think it's really that big of a deal to God if we "fail". It's the trying that counts. The commitment to give God more of ourselves, and focus more on Him today, than we did yesterday, is what it's really all about. So if you've already stumbled on your lent commitment, that's okay. Pick yourself up and try again. Who knows maybe this time you'll make it 30 minutes longer without candy. The important thing is that we don't give up trying and we don't give up on God. For He certainly never gives up on us!

"But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded." 2 Chronicles 15:7

My Prayer

God, thank you for never giving up on me, even when I fail over and over. Help me to remember that my greatest growth most comes in the journey not at the finish line. As I celebrate the lenten season, help me to remember that it truly should be a time of celebration non a time of woe. Today, I celebrate your love which is so great, that you gave your only son to save me, a sinner. Thank you for his great sacrifice and your great love. Amen.

Stuck in the Wilderness, Again

Well, here I am, stuck in the wilderness again. It's been known to happen to me from time to time, and here I am again. Perhaps you've experienced it as well. For me, it's a feeling of so many different things tugging at my heart, mind and soul. All of them possibly valid. All of them possibly dirction from God. Yet, all pulling different directions and leaving me in a quandry of how to respond. So, I don't. For the most part, much like the Isrealites in the wilderness, I just wander around trying to get out, but not knowing which exit to take. It's a crazy feeling. My heart and soul know that God is in the midst of it (whatever "it" is), but my mind just can't get clear enough to align with the rest of me.

So, how do I get out here? For me, the answer is "I" don't; but, by relying on God, I will. I just hope it doesn't take 40 years like it did for the Isrealites! Until then, I must put my trust and hope in the Lord and wait on His direction, at His appointed time.

"Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!" Psalm 27:14 KJ

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Habakkuk 2:3 KJ

My prayer:
Thank you for being in the midst of my wilderness, and for never leaving me or forsaking me. Lord, give me the courage and strength to wait on you. Provide me with your clarity and vision for my life. Amen.

Running with the Big Dogs

Much of my adult life has been spent avoiding exercise, and quite honestly, I did an excellent job of avoidance for many years. However, a couple of years ago I got tricked into exercising. We were having a very hot summer. So hot in fact, that our dogs were having no fun. All they wanted to do was lay in the air conditioning and sleep. Even the evenings were too hot to take them out for a walk. So, I decided, in their best interest, I would get up and take them for a walk early in the morning before it got too hot. And so it began... and it was nothing like I had envisioned. What I had forseen as a leisurely walk around the neighborhood was actually two big dogs dragging me around the neighborhood huffing and puffing.

I decided that something had to change. These dogs were out of control (more like in control, of me) and I needed to show them who was boss. But, no matter how many episodes of "The Dog Whisperer" I watched, they still wanted to run. With no sign of Cesar in site to get them under control, I began to pick up my pace and try to keep up with them. After all, they did need the exercise and I couldn't send them out by themselves. Someone had to sacrifice and that someone was going to be me.

Here we are over two years later, and four days or so a week I still drag myself out of bed to run with our dogs. Okay, "run" may be a bit of an exaggeration; but anyway, I get out there and do more than walk. I never would have thought it in the begining, but I actually look forward to our run. Not only has it been good for me physically, it has also taught me a great deal spiritually.

Many mornings, as we head back towards home, there is a winding section of the street where I will close my eyes and let the dogs lead me as we run. As I run with my eyes closed, I am overcome with freedom. I envision what it must truly be like to let God lead me. On the best days, which don't come often, one dog will be on either side of me. With my eyes closed I rely on my other senses. I listen for the sound of cars. I feel the tug of the dogs’ leashes guiding me. Occasionally, I take a peak to make sure we are on track, but for the most part I let the dogs lead. I imagine this must be how it is when we truly turn everything over to God. The Holy Spirit is surrounding us, and we get to run hand in hand with Jesus on one side, and the Father on the other, together keeping us between the lines. It's an incredible feeling even though it usually lasts only a moment, until I am abruptly brought back to reality. Like this morning when Easton took a detour and took me stumbling into a neighbor's yard. (Thank goodness we have sloping curbs in our neighborhood and not 90 degree angles.) But side tracking is part of the journey as well. I relate that to worldly temptations pulling me off God’s track. But the other dog is there to pull against the temptation and pull me back on track, much like Jesus or the Holy Spirit do in my spiritual walk. It is an amazing thing to give up control and trust that you are being let on the right path. It is an incredible freedom that I never recognized until I was brave enough to run with the big dogs, with my eyes shut.

Of course, as an attorney, I have to disclaim that I do not recommend that you run with your eyes shut. You may get hurt.

"...let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix
our eys on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our our faith..."Hebrews
12:1-2

My prayer:
Jesus, show me how to walk hand in hand with you; to fix my eyes upon you so that the ways of the world do not pull me off your chosen path. Give me the courage to close my eyes to the world and seek your presence where ever I am and allow you to lead me along life's winding paths. Amen.

My How Time Flies...

Today is Chad's 16th birthday! They sure grow up fast. It seems like only yesterday... yada, yada, yada. Anyway, as I was reflecting back over the past 16 years, I guess I've done a little growing up of my own. Well, at least you could say I've learned a few things along the way.

Like most expectant parents, Dennis and I signed up, and showed up, for childbirth classes. I must admit nothing they said in that class or that my doctor said prepared me for what was to come. For instance, I don't remember anyone saying that you shouldn't eat a foot long chili cheese dog (yes, all by myself), and try to run across the parking lot to avoid the freezing cold (no, I didn't have a coat on because I didn't have one that would wrap around my gigantic belly) the night before you go into labor. No, they didn't tell me that. I had to learn the hard way, around 3:30 a.m. when the foot long chili cheese dog decided it didn't like it down there. Nor, did anyone really explain that thing about the water breaking. Of course I had seen it on TV shows, but that was the depth of my knowledge. My first thought was - "What an idiot, now I've gone and peed on myself". Of course once I couldn't stop it I began to realize it might be something else.

Fourteen and a half hours later, we were parents. And we still didn't have a clue. And, I'm not sure we still do, when it comes to parenting. It's one of those things that you just have to keep working at and hope you don't totally screw up, especially when you only have one kid to practice on.

The great thing about kids is that they are resilient and ever changing. Each year brings new joys and new challenges. As far as I'm concerned, each year just keeps getting better and I wouldn't go back in time if I could. Oh sure, we could have done some things different, and probably better, but then we wouldn't have learned the valuable lessons that followed.

One thing I do know though, is that the birth of that beautiful baby boy was also the birth of a rekindled relationship with God. Today, I'm thankful for them both. I just hope that God thinks that life with me keeps getting better, too. Somehow, I think he does.

"But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day." 2 Peter 3:8

My Prayer:

God, thank you for letting me see but a glimpse of your love for all your children, in my love for my son. Teach me to expand my love to all people and to act out of love in all things. Amen.

COME ON REF!

I yell at referees. I can't help it. I try not to. Sometimes I even try really hard not to. But then, they do it. They make some bone head call and here I go. "Come on.... That is NOT a charge. There's NO way he was set," or maybe, "That's a foul! COME ON REF! Make the call!" You get the idea.

For a while I quit trying not to yell. I had been to a basketball game and heard a nun, wearing a full habit, yelling at the ref, "Hey BUCKO! Quit trying to even up the score!" (For the record, her team was ahead by 20 points or so.) So, like any well intentioned basketball fan, I interpreted it as a sign from God. As long as I call him BUCKO, it's okay to yell! The problem is Bucko just doesn't flow for me. So I'm back to COME ON REF.

At least I was until last night. Last night, as we were walking into our son's basketball game, the referee was walking in at the same time. I offered to let him go ahead, as we were walking fairly slow. He chuckled and said he was in no real hurry. I laughed and told him I could understand that since I would probably be yelling at him in a little while. He replied, "Well, you won't be the first and certainly won't be the last." We all laughed together and then parted ways as we went into the gym. Then, an amazing thing happened. I didn't yell at him. Of course he made a couple of "bone head" calls. My husband's uncle even said, "Now, you can yell at him". But I didn't. Overall he called a pretty good game. Especially considering the other referee didn't show and he had to call the game by himself. But it was more than that. He had showed up knowing that someone (like me) was going to judge every call he made, and eventually, someone (like me) was going to yell at him. Yet, he still showed up. He showed up in spike of people like me, so the kids could play the game.

It makes me wonder. If every morning when I left the house, I knew that a crowd of people were judging my every decision, and if I messed up someone would yell out loud and point out my mistake, would I show up? "COME ON LADY! Get it right! What's wrong with you?" If that's what I had to look forward to would I ever leave my house? I wonder, would just quit showing up or would I have the fortitude to show up anyway.

Tonight, I'll get another chance to yell, or not yell, at the referees. Hopefully I'll remember last night's encounter and leave the yelling to someone else. If you don't judge or yell at refs this probably makes no sense to you. But, think about this: Who is your referee? Is there someone in your life that you are especially hard on? Someone that you judge or comment on everything they do? If so, that someone just might be your referee.

"There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you- who are you to judge your neighbor?" James 4:12 NIV

My Prayer:

God, help me to remember that we are all your children and we all make mistakes. Help me to work on my own short comings and quit pointing out the other guy's. Thank you for those that have the courage to still show up even when they know they will be judged and yelled at. Give me the courage to keep showing up just in case I get it right. Most of all God, thank you for loving me even when I yell at referees. Amen.

Love

Love. A simple four letter word that is anything but simple. If you're from my generation, you might remember the movie, "Love Story", from the 1970's, and the famous line that came from the movie, "Love is never having to say you're sorry." Everyone was saying it, but I just couldn't get it! What do they mean love is never having to say you're sorry. How lame! If you love someone, you would want to tell them you're sorry when you do something wrong or hurt them. That is insane. What are they talking about? Do they mean that if you really love someone they will know you are sorry? Or, are they saying the person you love would never require you to say you're sorry? I have to admit, I just never got it! Until today...

Whether they knew it or not, they were talking about the kind of love that many of us have never experienced. The kind of love that is only possible through God. It's the kind of love that Paul wrote about in Corinthians ("love is patient, love is kind...) and again in Romans. It is the kind of love that we can only experience with Jesus Christ living in and through us. The reason love means never having to say you're sorry is because love never causes hurt. It is only when we (or someone else) act without love that hurt occurs. Funny thing. I've read it many times, but just never got it. So for today, I am going to try to act only out of love. Hmmm. I wonder if I can make it until tomorrow before I need to tell someone I'm sorry. Well, here goes.

"Love never hurts a neighbor, so loving is obeying all the law".
Romans 13:10

My prayer:

Lord, thank you for making it all so simple (though often hard for me). Thank you that I don't have to memorize a list of do's and don'ts; that all I have to remember is to love. Show me how to love you as deeply as you love me; and, to love others, even when they don't seem very loveable. When I fail, give me the wisdom and grace to acknowledge my failures and to ask forgiveness from those that I have failed to love. Amen.

Trust Me

Our family has two dogs, Shasta and Easton (left, Easton; right, Shasta). Both of them are rescue dogs, yet they have completely different personalities and life experiences. Easton was adopted from Free to Live, a no-kill sanctuary in our area. Unfortunately, before arriving at Free to Live, Easton was abused. His scar tissued ears are an everyday reminder that people and life can be very cruel. Since his arrival in our home, Easton has flourished. He is still skiddish and afraid of many things (especially loud noises like the vacuum cleaner). For the most part, I think he knows he is safe and loved; yet he is still mindful of how things once were and how unkind the world can be.

This morning as Easton came to me for attention and his morning head rub, I looked into his deep brown eyes, and told him, "I wish I could get into your mind and help you to understand. To understand that you are safe and loved, and that I will always do everything in my power to keep you from harm."

As those words rolled out of my mouth, I thought of my relationship with God. He must have spoken similar words to me, time and time again. "You are mine and I love you. I will do everything in my power to keep you from harm." Yet, time after time I have doubted and strayed, even to the point of causing self-inflicted pain and harm. Then it came to me, if I can feel the overwhelming desire and need to love and protect a rescued dog, then surely, on some level, I can understand God's overwhelming desire to love and protect me; and I can trust that he is always there and only wants the best for me.

Perhaps it's time for me to show God the same trust that I seek from Easton.

""For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."" Jeremiah 29:11

My Prayer:

Thank you Lord for loving and protecting me, for only wanting the best for me. Help me to trust you in all things and to always be willing to answer your call and to seek safety in your love. Amen.

Happy New Year!

For many the new year is a time of resolution to do better, to start again. I'm not much on New Year's resolutions. My son would tell you that's because I can't remember most things for 365 minutes, so I'm sure not going to be able to remember to do something for 365 days! He may very well be right. But whatever the reason, I haven't made New Year's resoltutions for several years.

Instead of making resolutions for an entire year, I am learning to make daily resolutions. My daily resolution is live by "WWGHMD". I'm sure you have heard of the saying "WWJD" (what would Jesus do). It's a great saying, and the world would certainly be a better place if we all lived by that moto; but personally, I've always had a hard time grasping it. I just couldn't get my mind around the concept. How could an imperfect someone like me, possibly know what a pure, sinless person like Jesus would do? It's just too overwhelming. Instead of WWJD, I found something that does work for me: WWGHMD. Admittidly, it's not near as catchy, but it works for me: WWGHMD - What Would God Have Me Do.

Although I can't imagine what Jesus would do in a given situation; through prayer and study, I can determine what God would have me do. Actually, Jesus gives us the big picture answer - Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might AND love your neighbor as yourself. Now all I have to do, with God's help is to learn to apply it to all situations. And, the really good thing about daily resolutions is I get to start over every day! So for today I resolve to ask WWHGMD.

"I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future. Then you will call my name. you will come to me and pray to me. And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11-13 NCV

My Prayer:

God, what would you have me do this minute, this hour, this week, this month and this year. Teach me to love you above all else and to love my neighbor as myself. Amen.

Time Out with God

Like most of you, I have a set morning routine. Most mornings I go through the same routine: get up; exercise; shower and dress; eat cereal while I read my bible; take Chad to school; spend time in prayer and journaling, then get to work. Last week due to some early morning meetings, my routine got out of whack. A couple of days I skipped exercise, only made it partially through my bible reading and as for the prayer and journaling - well, let's just say God only got my drive time. Of course, I could have gotten up earlier and made time for everything, but I chose not to. I realized during the week (okay, re-realized, because God keeps showing me this over and over) that I miss and need my DAILY dose of God - that special quiet time that we spend together - just the two of us.

It doesn't have to be first thing in the morning (although I must admit my day seems to go much better and I'm more focused when it is), but some time during the day I need to take time out and focus solely on God. It helps me acknowledge his presence in my life and it just makes me feel better.

This week I am refocused and committing each day to get my daily dose of God. I hope you will join me in this commitment. If you can't seem to find time in the day - try putting yourself in "time out". Set a timer for 10 minutes - find a quiet place - in the bathroom, if need be - and just pour out your heart to God. Talk to him. Tell him what's going in your life. Then, just sit quietly and listen. Before you know it, the timer will go off and you'll be wanting "time out" again.

Time out with God is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself (and to your family). It will change your life. Don't wait! Give yourself a great gift today. You deserve it!

"After he [Jesus] had dismissed them, he went up on a mountside by himself to
pray." Matthew 14:23

My Prayer:

Lord, help me to take time out with you every day. Help me remember that even Jesus took time from his daily tasks to spend quite time with you. Show me the special time that you have chosen for me to spend with you each day and give me discipline to set that time aside for you. In Christ name I pray. Amen.

What's Your Role?

Usually when I pray, it is followed by waiting. Waiting for answer. Sometimes waiting for days, months, even years; waiting and waiting. On a few glorious occassions, I have had the opportunity to witness prayers being answered within minutes. One such occassion occurred in the Atlanta Airport. Now, if you have ever had a connecting flight through Atlanta, you are probably aware that more times than not, things don't go as planned. In fact, I've flown into or through Atlanta at least a half a dozen times and I don't recall ever having a flight that wasn't late or canceled. Consequently, when we plan a trip I make every effort to avoid Atlanta.

Several years back, before I came fully appreciate the perils of the Atlanta Airport, Dennis, Chad and I were flying to Florida. We (I) had everything planned out perfectly. We would leave Oklahoma City early in the morning; arrive in Panama City by noon; pick up our rental car; drive to the house we were renting; and arrive before the rest of our family who was driving from Oklahoma.

It was about 1:00 in the afternoon, and we were sitting in Chili's at the Atlanta Airport (so much for the perfect plan of arriving by noon). Our flight had been cancelled and we could either fly to another location and drive an hour and a half to our final destination, or wait until 7:00 for another flight. Either way, we would arrive around the same time, so we decided to wait and accept the airline's token "free" meal. So here we were, in the middle of Chili's surrounded by endless travelers of the same fate. It was Atlanta after all.

As we looked over the menu, I noticed a young couple sitting two tables down and across the aisle from us. The young woman was visibly upset over the delay of their flight and within a few minutes she was crying. As I sat there, without anyone else knowing, I did something very strange to me - I began to pray for her. At this time in my Christian walk, praying was not something I did too well. In fact, just months earlier when Chad and I had joined the church, I announced to the minister that I would be happy to help in anyway, as long as he didn't ask me to pray. Low and behold, here I was, doing exactly what I had said I wouldn't do: praying for someone - a stranger at that. I'm not sure what came over me - perhaps it was Dennis' announcement earlier that morning, "Chad, mom's a control freak. She can't stand it that I'm holding the tickets and she's not." He was right! It was driving me crazy that I did not have the tickets in my hand. What if he lost them or laid them down? If I had them in hand then I knew things were under control. Of course, I didn't admit that to him. Instead, I told him that was not true and he could just hold onto those tickets. I was going to show him. I was NOT a control freak!

Whatever the reason, at that moment, instead of trying to control or "fix" the situation, I asked God to fix. I silently prayed, "God, please comfort her. Help her to see that a delayed flight really isn't that big of a deal. They are safe and together and that's much more important than being late."

Within minutes, it happened! God answered! He answered through the kindness of a waitress. As the young waitress approached and saw the woman's tears, she sweetly asked, "Are you okay? What can I do to help. I'm sorry it took me a while to get to you." With those kind words, the woman began to share her story. The perfect honeymoon she and her husband had planned, had turned out to be not so perfect. The hotel turned out not to be as advertised; their room wasn't ready when they arrived; it rained almost everyday; they had a wreck in the rental car and now their flight was delayed. As the woman shared the comedy of errors, she began to laugh and realize that those things weren't nearly as important as she had once thought they were. As the waitress left to get the couples drinks, the young bride sat there smiling at her husband. I was smiling too! I had just witnessed God answering my prayer. Maybe there was something to this praying thing after all.

We did finally arrive at our destination... 12 hours late; with no rental car - because they had already closed; and our family that that we were going to beat to the house, had to come rescue us, picking us up at the airport, well after midnight. But all in all, it was a great day! In the middle of the Atlanta Airport, I had witnessed God and perhaps for the first time ever, I knew He really does answer prayers.

As we hurry through the last days before Christmas, I urge you to think about what role you will play this season? Will you be the young bride, worried because your perfect plan isn't working? Perhaps you're the control freak who finally asks God to take over and fix it. Or even yet, perhaps you will get to be God's servant that offers kind words to a stranger. Whatever your role, it is my prayer that you will see God whereever you go. If he can show up in the Atlanta Airport, where things always go wrong, he can show up wherever you go this season... even at Walmart.

"I tell you to pray for all people, asking God for what they need and being
thankful to him." 1 Timothy 2:1 NCV

"I am the Lord, the God of every person on the earth. Nothing is
impossible for me." Jeremiah 32:27 NCV

My Prayer:

Father, help me remember what is important, and to learn to find joy and even laughter when my best laid plans go astray. In my heart I know that you are in control and the only things that really matter are the eternal ones. Help my mind to recognize that as well. Show me how to be a light to others, that they may also find joy in you this Christmas season. Amen.

Worry - Who, Me?

I must admit, I'm really not much of a worrier. I believe that you should take care of the things that you can and not worry about the things you can't. If you can't control them, then why spend time worrying about them. They will either happen or they won't; and if they don't, you've wasted all of that time and energy worrying for nothing.

I'm not sure why I'm not a worrier; perhaps I'm just made that way. I don't recall my parents being worriers as I was growing up. My grandmother, however, that was a different story. She worried about anything and everything; and if she happened not to have anything to worry about, she would just worry about not having anything to worry about. She thought, surely something must be wrong somewhere, and no one told her. Oddly though, I don't remember her ever saying she was worried. Instead, she would say, "I've been studying about that." Translate: "I've been worrying about that." I guess she thought if she studied about it, then it really wasn't worrying, and somehow that was okay.

My husband isn't a worrier either. Consequently, you would think that our son is worry free as well. Not so! He can "what if" the life out of you. Here's a perfect example. A couple of years back, he went on a mission trip with our church youth group to Denver, Colorado. On the trip home they stopped to go white river rafting. Here's an excerpt of the float conversation as relayed by one of the sponsors:

Chad: "What if I fall out of the raft?
Sponsor: "You have a life jacket, and we'll just pull you back in."
Chad: "What if you're not strong enough to pull me back in?"
Sponsor: "I can pull you back in."
Chad: "Yeah, but what if you can't?"
Sponsor: "The guide is a big guy. He can pull you back in?"
Chad: "What if the guide falls out too?"
Sponsor: "Then he can push you back in or get in himself and then pull you back in."
Chad: "What if he hits his head on the rock and gets knocked out?"
Sponsor: "I guess you'll have to swim to shore."
Chad: "What if there are bears on the shore?"
...

You're probably beginning to understand what I meant by, he can "what if" the life out of you. By now, if I'm responding instead of the sponsor, I'm saying "I guess you'll just get eaten by the bear and you won't have to be worried anymore." Probably not the "perfect mother" answer, but it's the one he probably would have gotten from his not so perfect mother.

You may think that Chad's worrying was far fetched. I can assure you, it was very realistic to him. Likewise, I imagine God thinks most of our worrying, though realistic to us, is farfetched as well.

See if this sound familiar:
What if my employer starts laying off people?
What if they lay off my boss and I have to do her job?
Worse yet, what if I get laid off?
What if I get laid off and can't find another job?
What if we can't make our house payment?
What if we don't have enough money for food?
What if because we don't have enough food, the state takes away our children?
What if we lose our house?
What if none of our friends or family will let us stay with them?

I can just hear God now, "This girl is what ifing the life out of me."

Did it sound familiar? I hope not, but for many of us, this is the way we live our lives. What if? What if? What if?

Fortunately for us, God patiently answers us. Just like Chad's sponsor (and unlike his not so perfect mother), each time we "what if", God calmly responds. Even when we're too busy what ifing to hear him in our prayers, he speaks to us through his word:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes. Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life." Matthew 6:25-27

I like to think of God as our white water rafting guide. He is there to guide us through the rapid waters of life. Giving us direction; telling us when and where to paddle. If we happen to fall out of the boat, he is there pull us back in. And above all, there is nothing, on heaven or earth, strong enough to knock him out. All we have to do is listen to his direction; enjoy the ride; and reach out to him when we fall out of the boat, because he is already reaching out to us to pull us back to safety.

My prayer:

Lord thank you, for being my guide; for reassuring me that I do not have to worry about the unknown; that you love me and will provide for me. Give me the courage, strength and wisdom to take care of the things I can, and to not worry about the things I can't take care of, and to turn them over to you. Most of all, thank you for still loving me even when I forget to rely on you and what if the life out of you. Amen.

Practice Makes Perfect (or not)

Practice makes perfect. I'm sure you've heard this at least once in your life, and if you're like me, you've heard it over and over - sports, piano, clarinet, washing dishes... Well, I've come to believe (okay, honesty here - I've come to know), it's a lie! Nothing short of a big, fat lie. Don't believe me? Just let me serenade you on the clarinet or the piano and you'll quickly come to agree 100%. Despite all the lessons. Despite all the practice under my mother's watchful eye, and ear, I don't do either one perfect. I don't even do them well!

There is hope though. Although I don't believe practice makes perfect, I do believe that practice makes improvement; even when I don't want to practice at all.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned in my spiritual walk was from my Disciple I teacher, Carol Foster. At the time, I was really struggling with one of my co-workers. When it came time for prayer request, I made the logical request of prayer, for tolerance of my co-worker. You should have seen the look on Carol's face, almost a look of horror. Shaking her head back and forth, as if I had just broken the most sacred of commandments, she told me, "Oh, you don't ever want to pray for tolerance or patience; God just might give them to you." I'm sure she went on to explain further, but I didn't hear another word she said. I was shocked. Carol was a devout Christian, an excellent teacher, a minister's wife and the mother of my minister; how could she, and why would she, tell me not to pray for something I needed? Well, unfortunately, I found out the hard way: practice makes improvement.

You see, people like me think we should (and can) ask for something like patience and get it, just like that. You know, the "God give me patience and I want it right now!" approach. The funny (not funny ha ha) thing is, and what Carol was trying to tell me was, that's not how God works. With God, when we ask for patience, instead of waving a magic wand and poof we have them, most of the time God provides us with situations that require patience. Situations that allow us to nurture and grow our patience. It's the same with tolerance. In order to gain tolerance, we have to come in contact with people or situations that require tolerance. Likewise, in order to really learn to love, like Christ loved, we have to come into contact with the unlovable. Although practice doesn't make perfect, it does make improvement; and the only way we can really improve is to practice.

If there's an area in your life that you need to improve, pray about it. Ask God to help you do better. But don't be surprised if the area becomes more challenging as you nurture and grow the new skill God is teaching you. Worse yet, if you don't learn it the first time through, you can count on it coming around again (and again) to give you a little more practice.

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as [daughters]. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:7, 11

My Prayer:

Lord, thank you that you hear my prayers. Thank you that you love me like a parent and that you allow me to grow through life's hardships that come my way. Help me to remember that the very hardships I face may have been brought on at my own request. Thank you for loving me even when I complain about practicing the very skill I have asked for. Amen.

How Big is Your God Box?

One of the things I struggle with, is putting (and often keeping) God in a box. Sound crazy? Well actually it is. I don’t mean I put God in a box and only pull him out on Sunday when its time for church. I mean I don’t let God be God.

Let me explain. Several months back, my business was experiencing slow times. During that time, I began to pray, “God please provide me just one new job a week. That’s all I need to keep things going.” And, God responded. I began to get one new job a week; some large, some small. Then one day, during my prayer time it occurred to me, why was I limiting God to one job a week? Did I think he wasn’t capable of more? Did I think I wasn’t deserving of more? (Now there’s a definitely maybe.) So, at what I believe was God’s urging, I decided to change my prayer. Instead of praying for 1 job a week, I began to pray for God’s provision and abundance, for his will in my life and my work. Well, guess what happened next? The following day, I went to meet with a client – one of my one-a-week jobs – and before I could return home, I had four new jobs. Not one a week – but four in one day! Amazing!

As I drove home, I laughed out loud at myself, and spoke out loud to God (yeah, I’m one of those crazy people you see driving down the street talking to herself), “OK God, I get it. I was putting you in a box. I was limiting the amount of blessing I was asking for and keeping you from blessing me in the way you wanted to. I get it! No more box!”

Our God is a big God, a loving God, who wants to do great things for us. Yet, by limiting our prayers, our dreams and yes, our expectations, we limit God. God has great things in store for you. Start allowing him to deliver them. Take him out of the box and allow him to provide them for you, in accordance with HIS will. You’ll be glad you did.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matthew 7:11

“… [God] is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us...”
Ephesians 3:20

My Prayer:
God, forgive me for limiting you and your blessings for me by putting you in a box, with my earthly limitations and thinking. Thank you for all of the blessing that you have given me. I open myself up to receive all that you have in store for me, in accordance with your will. May I always remember to give thanks and glory to you, in all things, and to share my blessings with those who are still seeking theirs. In Christ Name, Amen.

Give Thanks in ALL Things

Wow! What a day Thanksgiving was around my house. What I expected to be a quiet, uneventful day was anything but!

I woke up at 7 a.m. to begin cooking. I was finishing up my early preparations, by hurriedly unloading the dishwasher. While trying to balance (too many) plates, one slipped from my hands and crashed onto the beautiful hand crafted glazed bowl, given to us as a housewarming gift by one of my dearest friends, shattering the bowl into pieces. I was hearbroken. Although I bravely told myself it was only a possession, my emotions won out as I cried out and burst into tears. It pained me deeply as I picked up the pieces and dropped the beautiful, meaningful work of art into the trash. My husband, Dennis, who came rushing into the kitchen to see what the commotion was all about, could only let out an understanding, "oh" when he saw what had transpired. Of course, it was all his fault you know. Never mind that I had thought earlier I should replace the beautiful bowl to the center of the kitchen table where it so proudly belonged, or that I could have set down some of the plates and used two hands, instead of balancing them in hand, while trying to put the others away. It was definitely HIS fault. Had he unloaded the dishwasher or at least been helping me instead of watching TV - I wouldn't have dropped the plate and broken our (MY) precious bowl.

After picking up the pieces, I headed off to the shower to sulk, and to get dressed before family arrived. Dennis, of course, had already returned to TV land. When he later came in to get dressed, I didn't waste the opportunity to share with him my conclusion. "You know it's your fault I broke the bowl." Before I could even explain my logic, he acknoweleged, "I know. I take full responsibility." Hmmm- I guess after 24 years of marriage, he had learned something. However, I still felt the need to explain the logic of my conclusion, to which he replied, "I had washed and dried the dishes in the sink. I didn't even think about the dishwasher." Just like man logic - if the dishwasher had been empty, then there wouldn't have been dishes in the sink, now would there. They would have been in the dishwasher! Now I have to take back the credit I gave him for learning something in 24 years of marriage.

Family arrived and dinner went off as planned without another major incident - at least until we were cleaning off the dining room table. Dennis came into the kitchen and told me he needed somthing to clean up mashed potatoes. I gave him a quizical look - wondering is he thought there was some magical mashed potato cleaner upper (now he's really lost all the credit I gave him earlier). I asked if someone had dropped potatoes under the table, to which he replied, "No, on the wall!) As I turned to get him a cloth to clean up the mess, I was met by my mom, carrying mashed potatoes wadded up in waxed paper. She had been carrying the bowl of mashed potatoes, along with other dishes, trying to balance them into the kitchen (so that's where I get that balancing thing - maybe it's partly her fault instead of all Dennis') and the mashed potatoes had tipped out of her hands and onto the wall, finally coming to rest on the floor.

As Mom headed back to finish cleaning up the mashed potato mess, and I turned to help her, I was sidetracked by the sound of glass crashing onto the floor in our sitting area, off of the kitchen. When I turned to look, there sat my dad with his feet on the bottom shelf of the coffee table, asking, "What did I do?" As he had put his feet on the shelf, he had scooted back a book into two crystal coasters which crashed onto the tile floor, sending glass shattering in all directions. The mashed potato fiasco would have to wait. There was a new, more urgent crisis. I now redirected and rushed to begin picking up glass slivers. With everyone's help, we were able to clean up all of the glass without a single injury. Dennis and I had started our marriage with four crystal coasters. Two of which, had survived 24 years, but none would make it to year 25. Oh well, two less things to dust around.

We finished with most of the kitchen clean up without another catastrophy, then retreated to the downstairs game room for a friendly game of cards and to watch football. We had just finished our card game when we heard an awful clatter coming from the kitchen upstairs. I was quite puzzled since everyone was downstairs. Well, almost everyone. Everyone, except our double trouble dog, Shasta! I sent Chad and my nephew, Kevin, up to investigate. Then came the shout, "Mom! You better come up here!" I couldn't imagine what the noise had been. I was met at the top of the stairs by Chad, who was dutifully scolding Shasta. As I rounded the kitchen island, there it was - the baking pan I had cooked the ham in, ham bone, ham juice and all - splattered all over the kitchen floor. Thank goodness the pan was aluminum. Here we go again! I mopped up the mess with dish towels, as my sister-in-law, Rhonda, rinsed them and handed them back for more mopping. My mom pitched in and mopped in places you couldn't imagine the mess getting to. So much for that great pot of beans with ham bone, I was envisioning. Oh well, at least no glass slivers.

Before long, my parents called it a day and head out for home. The kids, Rhonda and I settled down in the sitting room. Rhonda had gotten up and left the room, then appeared back in the doorway, with a strange look on her face, saying, "Kathy, you better come in here - there's something in the bathroom floor and I just stepped in it, in my socks!" Sure enough, there was a puddle of "something" wet in the bathroom floor. I grabbed the Clorox spray and paper towels and proceeded to clean up what I dearly hoped was the final mess of the day. As I finished cleaning up the puddle (which, I'm still not sure what it was, or how it got there, as none of us were brave enough to give it the smell test and certainly not the taste test, UGGHHH!) I just sat back in the floor and laughed - uncontrollable laughter! What a day! What a day indeed!

The Bible tells us to give thanks in ALL thing,

"[G]ive thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus".

1 Thessalonians 5:18

So, on this Thanksgiving Day, I was...

Thankful that we have wonderful friends, who give us thoughtful gifts, even at the risk of me destroying them;

Thankful that no matter what messes I create or get into, I have wonder family to help me clean up the mess and pick up the pieces;

Thankful that my wonderful husband stands by me, even when I cast my blame on him.

Thankful that I have a God who loves, and all my messes, even when I could have prevented them.

Thankful for a Thanksgiving Day and all of its messes that I won't soon forget.

Thank God for Girlfriends!

This weekend I was blessed to spend time with three of my dear girlfriends. I always enjoy getting together with a group of girlfriends and am sorry to say I don't do it near enough. As we laughed together and caught up on each others lives, I was reminded of how different we all really are. We have different lives, different careers, different politics (REALLY DIFFERENT!), different taste in food, definitely different taste in shoes (Uggs vs. Naturalizers), different lifestyles, different backgrounds, different priorities, different lots of things. But regardless of all of these differences there are at least two things we all agree on: 1) Though we may not be at the same place in our spiritual walk, we all love God, and; 2) We all love each other and anyone of us could call the others in the middle of the night and they would come running. Isn't that really all that matters? Some times we get so hung up on our differences, we forget to look at the things that really matter about our friends.

I believe everyone needs someone they can call in the middle of the night and everyone needs to be that person for someone else. Who would you call? Who knows they could call you?

One of the greatest examples of "girlfriendship" is Ruth. If you haven't read the book of Ruth in a while, take a few minutes and do so. It's only 4 chapters, so it won't take long at all.

"But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." Ruth 2:16

"A friend loves at all times..." Proverbs 17:17

What better time than now to give thanks to God for girlfriends and to let your girlfriends know that you are there for them, night or day.

Make yourself and someone else smile today - call a girlfriend - you'll be glad you did!

My Prayer:

Lord I thank you for ALL the crazy people in my life, especially the ones I call girlfriends! Thank you for giving me these special people to laugh with, and to cry with. Help me to be the best girlfriend to them that I possibly can be. Bless and keep them all of the days of their lives. In Christ name, Amen.